Disclaimers of Planet X Tribe

  1. We are cold, mean, cruel, heartless, rude, crude, socially unacceptable, dirty, nasty, evil, decadent, outlaws,.....but generally nice guys.

  2. Don't ever bring a knife to a gun fight.

  3. Those who live by the sword:
    die by the crossbow  
    get shot by those who don't..
    need to join the 21st Century.

  4.  If you think you are a schmuck, don't use these. If you don't think you're a schmuck, but your friends tell you you are, believe them.

  5. We can meet most anyone's prices even if we have to raise our own.

  6. Batteries not included or may be included if you ask nicely.

  7. Under 17 not admitted without parent.

  8. This message or web site does and does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or alter ego.

  9. All rights reserved.

  10. You may distribute this message freely, but you may not make a profit from it.

  11. Terms are subject to change without notice.

  12. These items have not been safety tested for children under the age of three.

  13. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail.

  14. Intended solely for the private use of our audience.

  15. Any resemblance to actual persons, living, dead or undead, is unintentional and purely coincidental.

  16. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law.

  17. Hand wash only. Tumble dry on low heat.

  18. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle.

  19. Your mileage may vary.

  20. No substitutions allowed except by us, see #1

  21. For a limited time only.

  22. The message is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted.

  23. Caveat emptor.

  24. Prices may vary in Alaska, Hawaii, and Puerto Rico but we don't ship outside the continental US unless you pay us lots and lots of money.

  25. Message is provided "as is" without any warranties.

  26. Reader assumes full responsibility.

  27. Past performance does not predict future results and people can and do lose money.

  28. An equal opportunity offender.

  29. Guys: No shoes, no shirt, no sale.

  30. Girls: No shoes, no shirt, free stuff or discounted..

  31. Quantities are limited while supplies last.

  32. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to repair them yourself, but return to an authorized service center which we are not.

  33. Read at your own risk.

  34. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics.

  35. Owners may contain explicit materials that some people may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised.

  36. Please be offended in the privacy of your own home. If you are offended, see disclaimer #1.

  37. Keep away from sunlight.

  38. Keep away from pets and small children.

  39. You need not be present to win.

  40. You need to be present to win.

  41. Some assembly required.

  42. No assembly required.

  43. Action figures sold separately.

  44. No preservatives added.

  45. Slippery when wet.

  46. Safety goggles may be required during use.

  47. Sealed for your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken.

  48. Call before you dig.

  49. Not responsible for damages occurring through the use, misuse, or
    inability to use this product.

  50. For external use only.

  51. Swallow at your own risk.

  52. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use.

  53. These products have not been allergy tested. 

  54. These have not been Kid tested, Mother approved but Dad may like them.

  55. Use only with proper ventilation.

  56. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place.

  57. Keep away from open flames.

  58. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes.

  59. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

  60. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source.

  61. Do not microwave.

  62. Smoking this message could be hazardous to your health.

  63. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added.

  64. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician.

  65. May cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect.

  66. Use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery.

  67. Possible penalties for early withdrawal.

  68. Offer valid only at participating sites.

  69. Slightly higher west of the Rockies.

  70. Allow four to six weeks for delivery.

  71. Must be 18 to purchase.

  72. Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.

  73. Knives are sharper than they appear.

  74. Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, B Bs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.).

  75. Other restrictions may apply.

  76. Contents measured by weight only, contents may settle in transit.

  77. May cause random outbursts of extreme violence, epileptic seizures, or whatever.

  78. Actual item may differ from illustration on box.

  79. If you feel our shipping charges or any other charges are too high, then open up your own business.

  80. We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason we deem fit.

  81. Store in non-humid areas.

  82. Damn this water park sucked.

  83. Clean your blade, it could save your life.

  84. Tetanus shots not included.

  85. Shipping peanuts are not edible.

  86. Do not lick the blades.

  87. Pictures may not be what is described as we may have screwed up, same goes with prices. (oops)

  88. Not to be used for masturbatory purposes, unless we are invited to photograph session.

  89. We are not professional photographers so don't bitch if you don't like your pictures.

  90. Girls not included with knives, axes or other items, and trust us, you couldn't afford them.

  91. Do not use in or around electrical power sources.

  92. To prevent electrical shock hazard, do not expose to rain or moisture.

  93. Do not remove cover. No user serviceable parts inside.

  94. Keep hands and other body parts away from cutting surface.

  95. Read all instructions carefully. Use dictionary for the big words.

  96. You may not purchase these items if you have been judged mentally incompetent or convicted of a felony by a court.

  97. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be used against you by us at anytime we deem fit, especially if a reward is involved or if we need to beat the stuffing out of you..

  98. If you have to ask how much it is, you still may be able to afford it.

  99. If our price sounds reasonable to you, buy it. If it doesn't, buy it anyway.

  100. Do not exceed recommended dosage.

  101. Most items can cause damage to pacemakers.

  102. Do not use while driving.

  103. Do not place items in the area over an airbag or in the airbag deployment area. If the airbag inflates, item may be propelled with great force and cause serious injury to occupants of vehicle.

  104. Sheath item when entering any area with a potentially explosive atmosphere unless it is a type especially qualified for use in such areas. Sparks in a potentially explosive atmosphere can cause an explosion or fire resulting in bodily injury or death.

  105. Contents hot when heated.

  106. The floggings will continue until morale improves.

  107. We believe in fairness; we'll arm all sides for the right price.

  108. If taken internally serious gastric disturbances will result.

  109. Do not dispose of in toilets.

  110. Any insult is purely a mistake and is due to the stupidity and insensitivity of the reader.

  111. We might be cheap but are not easy, well depends on your feminine body as how easy we are.

  112. All pricing is subject to change without notice depending on who you are and how we feel at the time.

  113. Posting of pictures sent in are purely at the discretion of the site owners. ( but really of the guy that does the web page.)

  114. Please note that Country of Origin Does Not determine the quality of the product.  

  115. Although some of the swords pictured are sharp and functional, they are not recommended or designed for chopping tree limbs, brush, or for general utility use. Swords damaged or broken due to misuse will void the manufacturer’s warranty. 

  116. All pricing and specifications are subject to change without notice.

  117. Do not poke your eye out or anyone else's for that matter

  118. Any bodily injury on your part may cause severe fits of laughter on our part followed by a possible call to emergency services.

  119. Dry Clean Only.

  120. Don't run with scissors, or any sharp objects, unless we can watch. see #118.

  121. Owners don't play well with others unless they have a ball-gag and "others" have large boobies.

  122. It's not the size of the blade, it's how you stab it, and the angle of the thrust.

  123. Armor is made to fit normal-sized people of the middle ages so be real about your size. So do not complain if it doesn't fit you. Remember no refunds.

  124. If I am bigger than you, I am higher on the food chain.

  125. Do not sit with a sword in your pocket.

  126. Do not chew or crush.

  127. May impair ability to drive or operate heavy machinery.

  128. Test in an inconspicuous area before use.

  129. Use care until you become familiar with its effects.

  130. Intentional misuse by deliberately inhaling contents can be fatal.

  131. If you are stupid enough to think that you will receive a sword when you are ordering a scabbard or plaque, just because it is pictured, see disclaimer #4.

  132. To prevent production migration, do not wash by hand or machine.

  133. For those who need to haggle, we will gladly raise the price so we can give you a discount.

  134. If you are grouchy, irritable, or just plain mean, there will be a $100.00 charge for putting up with your BS.

  135. Any captions on the pictures are our opinions whether they are true or not.

  136. These products not intended for use as a dental drill.

  137. Do not use orally after using rectally.


  139. This web page (including any pictures) may contain information that is privileged, confidential, and/or otherwise protected from disclosure to anyone other than its intended recipient(s). Any dissemination or use of this web page or its contents (including any pictures) by persons other than the intended recipient(s) is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, please notify us immediately by reply email so that we may correct our internal records. Please then delete the original message (including any pictures) in its entirety. Thank you.

  140. Please stand back at least 50 feet from this web page.

  141. Stroking of your sword may cause blindness.

  142. We only use the freshest premium quality products.

  143. Irritant to eyes and skin.  Avoid contact with eyes and mucous membranes.

  144. The use of this product by more than one person may spread infections.

  145. Extreme heat may cause melting.

  146. Four out of Five dentists surveyed would recommend our product for their patients who can chew.

  147. Do not store in potentially dusty places.

  148. This item comes unfilled.

  149. Cottage cheese not included.  (it's an Okie thing)

  150. Not responsible for boobie damage when putting on armor.

  151. Actual price set by me.

  152. All federal, state and local income and other taxes are solely the
    responsibility of the winner.

  153. All scantily clad models are and must be at least 18 years of age.

  154. All research statistics are blatantly flagrant.

  155. Pocky not included.

  156. As seen on TV.

  157. Assembled somewhere after being manufactured somewhere else.

  158. Avoid alcoholic beverages while using this product.

  159. Avoid prolonged or repeated contact with skin.

  160. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light.

  161. May cause damage to TV screens.

  162. Because some jurisdictions do not allow the exclusion or limitation
    of liability for consequential or incidental damages, the above limitations may not apply to you.

  163. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of this agreement.

  164. Sanitized for your protection.

  165. By continuing to use these items you indicate your awareness of and
    consent to these terms and conditions of use.

  166. May cause drowsiness, nausea, dizziness, or blurred vision.

  167. Colors may, in time, fade.

  168. Close cover before striking.

  169. Consult your physician before use.

  170. Consult your physician if pain continues for more than 5 days.

  171. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients that are high in iron.

  172. Verified Kosher by an actual Jewish person.

  173. Credit will be extended to those persons born before 1901, as long as
    they are accompanied by their parents; some restrictions apply.

  174. Harmful or fatal if swallowed.

  175. Dealer prep extra.

  176. Stays crunchy in milk.

  177. Do not attempt to put in pants.

  178. Use of a lubricant may greatly ease insertion.

  179. Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.

  180. In case of water landing, cannot be used as floatation device. 

  181. Front toward enemy; do not eat.

  182. Do not use for drying pets.

  183. Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

  184. Don't quote me on anything

  185. Excessive use may lead to paper cuts.

  186. For indoor or outdoor use only.

  187. If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions
    and warnings, do not use this product.

  188. LOG OFF IMMEDIATELY if you do not agree to the conditions stated in this warning.

  189. Made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles.

  190. May be too intense for some viewers.

  191. May be unsuitable for sensitive people.

  192. May cause any of the aforementioned effects and/or death.

  193. May cause excitability.

  194. May contain small parts.

  195. Misuse may cause injury or death.

  196. Must be at least 18 years of age to be an considered a legal adult.

  197. Neither the seller nor the manufacturer will be liable for any brain
    damage arising from the use of this product.

  198. No anchovies unless otherwise specified.

  199. No animals were harmed in the creation of this site.

  200. No measurable fat content.

  201. No other warranty expressed or implied.

  202. All sales final.  No substitutions, exchanges or refunds, unless we say so.

  203. Not affiliated with any government agency.

  204. Not affiliated with Texas A & M or any other institution of higher learning.

  205. Not available in all states.

  206. Not available with other offers.

  207. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential
    damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform.

  208. Not responsible for typographical errors.  It is always the computer's fault.

  209. Some items are not street legal in some states.

  210. Now available without a prescription!

  211. Nutritional information available on request.

  212. Price and participation may vary.

  213. Price based on availability.

  214. Provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied.

  215. Reference herein to any specific commercial products, process, or
    service by trade name, trademark, manufacturer, or otherwise, does not necessarily constitute or imply its endorsement, recommendation, or favoring by the United States Government.

  216. Shipping & handling extra.

  217. Should you need legal advice, please consult your lawyer.

  218. Some humor and satire included.

  219. Everything is subject to change without notice.

  220. Supervise children and adults as necessary until capable of using without supervision.

  221. The buyer assumes all risks associated with using this product.

  222. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual
    character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

  223. The user takes full responsibility for everything and anything that
    could and/or does go wrong resulting in any kind or type of problem,
    difficulty, embarrassment, loss of money or goods or services or sleep or anything else whatsoever.

  224. This web site is not intended as legal advice.

  225. Meesa NOT Jar-Jar Binks!

  226. Buy something or BUGGER OFF!  (compliments of Angie)

  227. Yes, the swords are real.  They are not imaginary or holograms.

  228. We always try to meet or exceed our own expectations.  What you are expecting is irrelevant.

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